by Bess Brooks
Being curious is what makes the world go round, but for those of you not in pageants, do us all a favor? Do NOT ask a pageant girl these 5 questions…You might just get these answers:
1. Why are you in pageants? Aren’t they like bad? I thought you were a feminist!
“Why yes, they are the worst thing on Earth, which is exactly why I am doing them. Also, I hate feminism…another reason to do pageants!”
2. Do you know Honey Boo Boo?
“A close cousin actually…I look forward to Thanksgiving together.”
3. Have you seen that show Toddlers and Tiaras?
“What?! Sorry, I can’t hear you from this rock I’ve been living under…”
4. How can you walk in front of all of those people in a swimsuit?
“I don’t know. How do you do it while on the beach? Also, I worked hard for this body.”
5. So is Donald Trump, like your boss?
“Yes, the King of all Pageants, he directly employs me while I compete for Miss America, which is a completely different system with no affiliation with Miss USA, but why am I even trying to get that through to you?”
And just a kind reminder to all the frustrated pageant girls out there- these should be answers said in your head, not out loud ; ) Remember to keep your cool and smile because at the end of the day, you’re still a queen!
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